My name is Katie Holt. I don't know you, and you don't know me. But I'm contacting you to let you know in no uncertain terms that if I ever hear that you've threatened my idiot husband Lance in any way shape or form again, I will cut your dick and balls clean off and attach them to your forehead. :)
[Steven stares down at the inbox and swears fluently in two distinct languages under his breath. And then scowls at the message.]
I understand your concern, Ms Holt, and I will try to watch my body language and tone of voice in the future, so that any future non-threats I utter don't come out in a threatening way again.
[He hadn't actually threatened Lance. That was the thing. He'd said what he'd said to wound, but he hadn't promised violence against him, even though he'd been thinking longingly of punching the kid in the face.
Not that it seemed to matter, he thinks bitterly.]
Thace snarled at him. I said some very nasty things, none of which were threats, which I apologized to Shiro for as soon as he expressed his discomfort at them. The entire thing is on Jaskier's staryutube channel if you don't believe me. There's a pinned comment with links that let you jump to each auction.
I won't say that I didn't say some very nasty things to Lance. I did. What he'd said was deeply, horribly offensive to me, for multiple reasons, and I was aiming to hurt. But neither Thace nor I *made* any threats--and while I don't expect you to believe me, it's the damn truth.
[He wouldn't have minded that fight. But he wouldn't have thrown the first punch, not when he'd known they were being recorded.
After a moment, he sends her the link so she can watch and judge for herself.]
[Some time passes while Pidge watches back the recording. Not because she doesn't believe what anyone has been telling her, but because she wants a more objective view.]
I'm not sure what you've learned about us in the time you've known Shiro, but we've had to learn to react to aggressive nonverbal cues in order to stay alive. Protecting one another is second nature, and with the number of times we've lost each other in this place it's no wonder Shiro reacted the way he did when you and Thace reacted the way *you* did. Aggression is aggression. Honestly I've taken hits for less.
Here's my problem. You didn't just make Shiro uncomfortable. I'm not doing this for him, because he's actually a big boy who can handle himself. I'm not even doing this for Lance, because he's an idiot and yeah what he said was fucked up even though he was clearly just saying it because he wanted someone to take Shiro on an *actual date* and that wasn't going according to plan. You guys lashed out at him with your own nasty "aiming to hurt" comment, assuming the worst about him, all hopped up on testosterone and tensed like you were ready to throw down, and then didn't even bother apologizing to him for it when Shiro told you to stand down. That is some serious bullshit and you know it.
I know about Shiro's time in captivity if that's what you're asking and I do understand why Thace's snarl likely set off his PTSD. That's why I apologized to *Shiro*. Because he, of all people, deserved *none* of this. If you can honestly tell me that what I said or how I said it, *frightened* Lance or poked him in his own trauma, *then* I will apologize to him now, for *that* and *only* that.
But I will not apologize for making the same insinuations about him that he made about me, only followed to their their logical conclusions--not until he apologizes to Thace, Grant, and myself about his own damn comment. Which, if you watch that footage, he did *not*. He, in fact, doubled down on his comments--which is why at the time I felt safe in assuming that I *hadn't* triggered him with my aggressive nonverbal cues.
Do I think anything I implied about Lance to have been true? *No*. But I *did* want him to know *exactly* how it felt when he made that little orgy comment. I hit back harder at him than he did at me, because I *wanted* it to sting. I realize that you're from the relative future and might not be aware of the kind of nasty stereotypes about men like me that I have been dealing with all my life, but Lance's stupid little orgy comment fed right into them.
It's all very well to say he was clearly just saying it out of petulance. Maybe he *was*. But I saw how Grant all but *shut down* after Lance made his little orgy comment. Did Lance apologize to him? No. No he did not. Lance didn't apologize to *anyone*. Just because *Shiro* wasn't offended or hurt doesn't mean the rest of us *weren't*.
*Yes*, I lashed out at him. *Yes*, I didn't stop myself from making aggressive non-verbal cues at him. He *hurt* my partner, my friend, and myself--and when called out on it, he got defensive and doubled down on what he said. I am *not* going to apologize for verbally defending myself and people I care about, just because I did it by going on the offense.
[Because honestly? That's what's getting to him. Had he hit back disproportionately hard? Probably. But he and Thace are getting no end of shit for what was basically self-defense and he's sick and tired of it.
And at this point? He's entirely sure that everyone would have been much more happy if the two of them had just shut down like Grant had--not that they probably would have made Lance apologize even then. Because it didn't bother Shiro and if it didn't bother Shiro then who cares? Lance certainly didn't!]
[It's good that this is in text, because Pidge rolled her eyes so hard and actually yelled out "Men are all so sensitive!" at the ceiling. One person says something crude and flippant and everyone's all up in arms about it. This is literally how wars have started!]
It probably would've been kinder on all of you if you *had* started a fistfight and just gotten that out of the way, for fuck's sake. You know, Lance and I have been fighting in the same war as Shiro since we were teenagers. We've been held captive and brushed with death more times than I can count at this point. I was *15*. Do you honestly think either of us are psychologically unscathed by that?? Just because you didn't evoke something that you could perceive as a visible trigger response doesn't mean you didn't touch on something traumatic that made him react just as badly to you as you did to him.
But you know what? I changed my mind. I don't actually *want* you to apologize to Lance. What I *do* want is for you to know that I'm mad about this entire thing and that's why I messaged you. I've admitted to the fact that what he said was fucked up and way out of line and I promise you that his shit is being dealt with. I don't like that he ended up hurting Grant with it either, but a simple "Shut the fuck up" would've sufficed! Lance didn't apologize because you all immediately zoned in on him and attacked, probably before he could even register what anyone's reactions *were* because he can be oblivious like that. So of course he went on the defensive! Just like you!
In fact, I don't think he even realized what about his comment was so offensive until *you* pointed it out to him. He's gotten so used to our team brushing off his cruder commentary that he was primarily stunned by the fact that suddenly everyone was angry at him, and I can admit that that lack of self-awareness is on us for not helping him know better. But you still set out to hurt *my* partner, my friend, and myself by extension, too. And that brought me here to defend his ass from you and Thace's hostility, because no one else did. And since apparently he's not allowed to do it himself without offending someone.
Grant was *disassociating* because of your husband's stupid little comment. I saw it with my own goddamn eyes. I acted as I did because a man I like and respect was shutting down in public and if saying something inexcusable in return got everyone's eyes off him and gave Lance a taste of his own goddamn medicine? Fine by me.
Look, Ms Holt. I'm sorry you were a child soldier. I'm sorry your husband was as well. I'm sorry that my partners' people hurt you and your own. I'm sorry you've been held captive. I know from personal experience that captivity is never pleasant. I understand that you're angry about the incident on behalf of your husband. I wouldn't expect you to be otherwise.
But I *am not* sorry that I chose to defend myself, my partner, and my friend, no matter how ill-considered that method of defense was. And I do not appreciate being told I threatened Lance when I *didn't*. If I *had* threatened him, believe me, *you would know*.
[Honestly, at this point he probably resents Pidge a lot more than he does Lance! Not that he actually likes Lance--he thinks he's a big-mouthed idiot--but he's also an idiot who evidently has never had anyone reign him the fuck in. Pidge is the one being a giant fucking hypocrite about everything.]
[Why is Shiro friends with this man. Pidge simply doesn't know. To be fair, she's not entirely sure why he's friends with her either, but that's neither here nor there.]
We've established and *agree* that what Lance said was fucked up and left a lot to be desired. You didn't threaten him but you sure as hell wanted to so that makes you the bigger man for holding back. Good for you. *I* still don't have to like the fact that you took a stupid comment and blew it up into something that upset my teammates *and* may have subsequently made things *worse* for Grant to watch.
So how about this. We're clearly getting nowhere fast, so let's just leave it and stay way the fuck away from each other.
[They bonded over being former abduction victims. Also, Steven is usually a lot more polite and friendly when people don't begin conversation with threats of castration.]
I never said you had to like it.
I apologized to Shiro (twice) and checked in on Grant. I was planning on avoiding your husband and I can certainly avoid you in the future. I wasn't the one who texted people out of nowhere threatening to castrate them, after all.
[Pidge has no social skills. She is clearly too abrasive for this. She's worse than Keith in a lot of ways. This is why she's not allowed to speak to people outside of her tiny circle.]
ughhghh Thanks for apologizing to Shiro. I'm glad you checked in on Grant. And now that I don't regret threatening you for not threatening my husband, it seems we've come to an understanding.
Let's just avoid each other in the future, shall we?
[Honestly, he intends not to interact with either of them again. Unfortunately, then Lance starts insulting his boyfriend in Spanish and Steven gets called in to play translator.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fingersandteeth) wrote2022-02-21 05:11 pm
Sometime After the Auction Drama~
My name is Katie Holt. I don't know you, and you don't know me. But I'm contacting you to let you know in no uncertain terms that if I ever hear that you've threatened my idiot husband Lance in any way shape or form again, I will cut your dick and balls clean off and attach them to your forehead. :)
Have a nice day.
Re: Sometime After the Auction Drama~
I understand your concern, Ms Holt, and I will try to watch my body language and tone of voice in the future, so that any future non-threats I utter don't come out in a threatening way again.
[He hadn't actually threatened Lance. That was the thing. He'd said what he'd said to wound, but he hadn't promised violence against him, even though he'd been thinking longingly of punching the kid in the face.
Not that it seemed to matter, he thinks bitterly.]
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That's funny. The way I heard it, you and Thace looked to be gearing up for a fight.
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I won't say that I didn't say some very nasty things to Lance. I did. What he'd said was deeply, horribly offensive to me, for multiple reasons, and I was aiming to hurt. But neither Thace nor I *made* any threats--and while I don't expect you to believe me, it's the damn truth.
[He wouldn't have minded that fight. But he wouldn't have thrown the first punch, not when he'd known they were being recorded.
After a moment, he sends her the link so she can watch and judge for herself.]
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I'm not sure what you've learned about us in the time you've known Shiro, but we've had to learn to react to aggressive nonverbal cues in order to stay alive. Protecting one another is second nature, and with the number of times we've lost each other in this place it's no wonder Shiro reacted the way he did when you and Thace reacted the way *you* did. Aggression is aggression. Honestly I've taken hits for less.
Here's my problem. You didn't just make Shiro uncomfortable. I'm not doing this for him, because he's actually a big boy who can handle himself. I'm not even doing this for Lance, because he's an idiot and yeah what he said was fucked up even though he was clearly just saying it because he wanted someone to take Shiro on an *actual date* and that wasn't going according to plan. You guys lashed out at him with your own nasty "aiming to hurt" comment, assuming the worst about him, all hopped up on testosterone and tensed like you were ready to throw down, and then didn't even bother apologizing to him for it when Shiro told you to stand down. That is some serious bullshit and you know it.
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But I will not apologize for making the same insinuations about him that he made about me, only followed to their their logical conclusions--not until he apologizes to Thace, Grant, and myself about his own damn comment. Which, if you watch that footage, he did *not*. He, in fact, doubled down on his comments--which is why at the time I felt safe in assuming that I *hadn't* triggered him with my aggressive nonverbal cues.
Do I think anything I implied about Lance to have been true? *No*. But I *did* want him to know *exactly* how it felt when he made that little orgy comment. I hit back harder at him than he did at me, because I *wanted* it to sting. I realize that you're from the relative future and might not be aware of the kind of nasty stereotypes about men like me that I have been dealing with all my life, but Lance's stupid little orgy comment fed right into them.
It's all very well to say he was clearly just saying it out of petulance. Maybe he *was*. But I saw how Grant all but *shut down* after Lance made his little orgy comment. Did Lance apologize to him? No. No he did not. Lance didn't apologize to *anyone*. Just because *Shiro* wasn't offended or hurt doesn't mean the rest of us *weren't*.
*Yes*, I lashed out at him. *Yes*, I didn't stop myself from making aggressive non-verbal cues at him. He *hurt* my partner, my friend, and myself--and when called out on it, he got defensive and doubled down on what he said. I am *not* going to apologize for verbally defending myself and people I care about, just because I did it by going on the offense.
[Because honestly? That's what's getting to him. Had he hit back disproportionately hard? Probably. But he and Thace are getting no end of shit for what was basically self-defense and he's sick and tired of it.
And at this point? He's entirely sure that everyone would have been much more happy if the two of them had just shut down like Grant had--not that they probably would have made Lance apologize even then. Because it didn't bother Shiro and if it didn't bother Shiro then who cares? Lance certainly didn't!]
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It probably would've been kinder on all of you if you *had* started a fistfight and just gotten that out of the way, for fuck's sake. You know, Lance and I have been fighting in the same war as Shiro since we were teenagers. We've been held captive and brushed with death more times than I can count at this point. I was *15*. Do you honestly think either of us are psychologically unscathed by that?? Just because you didn't evoke something that you could perceive as a visible trigger response doesn't mean you didn't touch on something traumatic that made him react just as badly to you as you did to him.
But you know what? I changed my mind. I don't actually *want* you to apologize to Lance. What I *do* want is for you to know that I'm mad about this entire thing and that's why I messaged you. I've admitted to the fact that what he said was fucked up and way out of line and I promise you that his shit is being dealt with. I don't like that he ended up hurting Grant with it either, but a simple "Shut the fuck up" would've sufficed! Lance didn't apologize because you all immediately zoned in on him and attacked, probably before he could even register what anyone's reactions *were* because he can be oblivious like that. So of course he went on the defensive! Just like you!
In fact, I don't think he even realized what about his comment was so offensive until *you* pointed it out to him. He's gotten so used to our team brushing off his cruder commentary that he was primarily stunned by the fact that suddenly everyone was angry at him, and I can admit that that lack of self-awareness is on us for not helping him know better. But you still set out to hurt *my* partner, my friend, and myself by extension, too. And that brought me here to defend his ass from you and Thace's hostility, because no one else did. And since apparently he's not allowed to do it himself without offending someone.
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Grant was *disassociating* because of your husband's stupid little comment. I saw it with my own goddamn eyes. I acted as I did because a man I like and respect was shutting down in public and if saying something inexcusable in return got everyone's eyes off him and gave Lance a taste of his own goddamn medicine? Fine by me.
Look, Ms Holt. I'm sorry you were a child soldier. I'm sorry your husband was as well. I'm sorry that my partners' people hurt you and your own. I'm sorry you've been held captive. I know from personal experience that captivity is never pleasant. I understand that you're angry about the incident on behalf of your husband. I wouldn't expect you to be otherwise.
But I *am not* sorry that I chose to defend myself, my partner, and my friend, no matter how ill-considered that method of defense was. And I do not appreciate being told I threatened Lance when I *didn't*. If I *had* threatened him, believe me, *you would know*.
[Honestly, at this point he probably resents Pidge a lot more than he does Lance! Not that he actually likes Lance--he thinks he's a big-mouthed idiot--but he's also an idiot who evidently has never had anyone reign him the fuck in. Pidge is the one being a giant fucking hypocrite about everything.]
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[Why is Shiro friends with this man. Pidge simply doesn't know. To be fair, she's not entirely sure why he's friends with her either, but that's neither here nor there.]
We've established and *agree* that what Lance said was fucked up and left a lot to be desired. You didn't threaten him but you sure as hell wanted to so that makes you the bigger man for holding back. Good for you. *I* still don't have to like the fact that you took a stupid comment and blew it up into something that upset my teammates *and* may have subsequently made things *worse* for Grant to watch.
So how about this. We're clearly getting nowhere fast, so let's just leave it and stay way the fuck away from each other.
no subject
I never said you had to like it.
I apologized to Shiro (twice) and checked in on Grant. I was planning on avoiding your husband and I can certainly avoid you in the future. I wasn't the one who texted people out of nowhere threatening to castrate them, after all.
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ughhghhThanks for apologizing to Shiro. I'm glad you checked in on Grant. And now that I don't regret threatening you for not threatening my husband, it seems we've come to an understanding.
no subject
Let's just avoid each other in the future, shall we?
[Honestly, he intends not to interact with either of them again. Unfortunately, then Lance starts insulting his boyfriend in Spanish and Steven gets called in to play translator.]