[Good job, Lanque, you've startled him into swearing in front of you.]
No, no, I think you're right. I think you're right about what the fuck is going on and it's all complete bullshit. Holy fucking *shit*.
I know it's not going to mean anything to you, but I am goddamn appalled at the wasted lives. Pun (mostly) not intended.
[Fuck. Fuck. He's invested now in the little shit, isn't he? Jesus.]
In that case, yeah, I really can't blame you for not wanting to do more than what gets you the most benefit for the least work. Holy shit, this has to be the first prolonged breath of freedom you've had in your goddamn *life*.
Do you enjoy recreational substances? Because I know where you can get them, such as they exist in this world. And there's a bit of a club scene downtown, but you probably won't be able to get to it until your week of training is over, but that's basically tomorrow.
The good thing is, as long as you turn in your quota and you haven't been assigned to any mandatory missions like the one we just finished, your time is literally your own. I'd advocate building a decent pokemon team and battling for money if you want any cash past your stipend--although the admins do give cash bonuses for pokemon leveled past 30 when you turn them in. It's something like P3000, I think, and it jumps up by P1000 every ten levels past that. Especially rare pokemon will get you free single use TMs, which are also very useful.
Challenging Gyms is also lucrative in its way. The absolute minimum you'd get in prize money is P10000 for any given gym and if you beat all the gyms in either Johto or Kanto and then fight and beat Blue or Clair's elite team respectively, you can also win a reusable ticket for a three week cruise on the S.S. Anne, which I think is damn well worth the trouble. (Just be sure to steal a Pokemon or two to hand in when you return.)
[Hm. If Steven were eighteen or thereabouts again and he was in Lanque's position, there would definitely be something he'd want to know about. (He takes a moment to congratulate himself on doing one of Hythlo's Practicing Empathy Exercises without even planning to.)]
Right. So. One more piece of advice, completely unrelated to the Team: unless you happen to be a virgin or are particularly interested in an actual relationship (which was *not* the impression I had of you) or not at all interested in sex (again *not* the impression I had of you) get on Gravlr and/or Fletchindr once you're done training. Those are pokegear apps that will help you find people who want to hook up for casual sex. Gravlr matches men with other men, Fletchindr matches men to women.
And wear a condom for God's sake. And make sure your male partners and/or female partners with male junk wear them too.
[Wow, that's...a lot more than he was expecting. He figured it was likely he'd find some sympathy for his situation, hell, even other trolls did, after all, tragedy's attractive. But to this extent?
Well, no sense in looking a gift hoofbeast in the maw.
He'll comment on the rest of that in a moment, but there is one thing specifically that he doesn't recognize, or isn't familiar with in some capacity...]
I'll come back to the rest in a minute, because, I'm sorry, but What's a condom?
Okay. So. Remember how I said about how human reproduction works by one of the genetic predecessors hosting said egg? More specifically how it works is that biologically female humans will regularly produce viable eggs that the body will then dispose of later if they aren't fertilized within a certain period. Meanwhile, biologically male humans produce reproductive material that can be use to fertilize those eggs.
This is done in the most traditional form of human sex, in which a biologically male human inserts their penis into the biologically female human's vagina and moves within it until orgasm, at which point the biologically male human's genetic material is then spilled deep within the biologically female's anatomy and travels to where her eggs are hosted during their time of potential fertility. If those eggs are able to be fertilized and the genetic material is still good, this can result in the fertilized egg growing into an infant human.
A condom is a kind of prophylactic: a thin latex sheath worn over the biologically male human's penis and used to make sure that the human reproductive material doesn't make its way to the biologically female human's egg, so it won't be fertilized if the humans in question don't wish to reproduce. Since human genetic material isn't produced in such vast quantities as troll genetic material seems to be, it's very possible to do so.
(I'm talking about biological sex rather than gender, given that there are human males with biologically female anatomies as well as the reverse, of course.)
Condoms can also be worn to avoid the spread of sexually transmitted infections during penetrative sex--or at least they were back home. I'm not entirely sure how many STIs actually exist in this world. If you have a regular partner and you have both been thoroughly tested--and you don't plan on doing any sex with them which would result in reproduction--then they can be done without. But if you're not planning to have a regular partner, then I suggest you and irregular partners wear them.
[...Wow. WOW. This is. Way more than he wanted to know?? He was already given enough to imagine how horrible it all could be, but this is even worse.
He's pretty sure he didn't ask for a biology lesson here, yet here we are. He has come to the realization that humans are pretty damn gross, and he now knows more about them than he ever wanted to know. Thoroughly regretting his current form.
Anyways, give him a moment as he tries to begin to sort out what to even say to all of this. He isn't one to be taken off guard, normally. But he also doesn't normally get detailed descriptions on alien breeding.]
I'm sorry, but that's fucking disgusting. What sort of nightmare species did I get turned into? Holy fuck. You do knoW you could haVe just said the bit about What the condom is and What for, Without the nauseating descriptions of your internal breeding mechanics, right?
Yes, but you were a little shit to me the other day, so consider this my delayed revenge.
(Besides, if you were a real human, you'd have had to learn about this age age thirteen--six sweeps, I think?--in a classroom with two dozen other children your age. And there would have been illustrations. And then they would have separated you by biological sex to talk about menstruation and nocturnal emissions respectively.)
That's fair. I guess. It Would be really strange if your species didn't educate your young on hoW to reproduce, and I really don't care hoW they chose to teach you. I'm not asking for the human experience here, I don't actually care about it either. Don't get me Wrong, I appreciate the other stuff that's applicable to What matters to me, but I could do Without the rest.
AnyWay, onto more important matters: yes I like recreational substances. You got the hook up? Once this week of useless training is oVer, you can bet your bulge I'll be hitting the city.
Come to Fight Club and ask about their secret menu. I'll have Chloe set aside something for you.
Also, talk to Hythlodaeus at [insert pokegear number here] if you want hallucinogens. Just so you know, he's currently just selling for personal use, not resale.
More an associate who is involved with various Rockets in some capacity, but is not himself a member of the team. We have a few of those here and there.
Good to knoW. AnyWay, thanks for the help, glad We Worked out our little misunderstanding. I'm sure it'll make my acclimation here a touch easier. Not that I'Ve eVer been one to struggle With adapting.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fingersandteeth) wrote2022-02-21 05:11 pm
no subject
[Good job, Lanque, you've startled him into swearing in front of you.]
No, no, I think you're right. I think you're right about what the fuck is going on and it's all complete bullshit. Holy fucking *shit*.
I know it's not going to mean anything to you, but I am goddamn appalled at the wasted lives. Pun (mostly) not intended.
[Fuck. Fuck. He's invested now in the little shit, isn't he? Jesus.]
In that case, yeah, I really can't blame you for not wanting to do more than what gets you the most benefit for the least work. Holy shit, this has to be the first prolonged breath of freedom you've had in your goddamn *life*.
Do you enjoy recreational substances? Because I know where you can get them, such as they exist in this world. And there's a bit of a club scene downtown, but you probably won't be able to get to it until your week of training is over, but that's basically tomorrow.
The good thing is, as long as you turn in your quota and you haven't been assigned to any mandatory missions like the one we just finished, your time is literally your own. I'd advocate building a decent pokemon team and battling for money if you want any cash past your stipend--although the admins do give cash bonuses for pokemon leveled past 30 when you turn them in. It's something like P3000, I think, and it jumps up by P1000 every ten levels past that. Especially rare pokemon will get you free single use TMs, which are also very useful.
Challenging Gyms is also lucrative in its way. The absolute minimum you'd get in prize money is P10000 for any given gym and if you beat all the gyms in either Johto or Kanto and then fight and beat Blue or Clair's elite team respectively, you can also win a reusable ticket for a three week cruise on the S.S. Anne, which I think is damn well worth the trouble. (Just be sure to steal a Pokemon or two to hand in when you return.)
[Hm. If Steven were eighteen or thereabouts again and he was in Lanque's position, there would definitely be something he'd want to know about. (He takes a moment to congratulate himself on doing one of Hythlo's Practicing Empathy Exercises without even planning to.)]
Right. So. One more piece of advice, completely unrelated to the Team: unless you happen to be a virgin or are particularly interested in an actual relationship (which was *not* the impression I had of you) or not at all interested in sex (again *not* the impression I had of you) get on Gravlr and/or Fletchindr once you're done training. Those are pokegear apps that will help you find people who want to hook up for casual sex. Gravlr matches men with other men, Fletchindr matches men to women.
And wear a condom for God's sake. And make sure your male partners and/or female partners with male junk wear them too.
no subject
Well, no sense in looking a gift hoofbeast in the maw.
He'll comment on the rest of that in a moment, but there is one thing specifically that he doesn't recognize, or isn't familiar with in some capacity...]
I'll come back to the rest in a minute, because, I'm sorry, but What's a condom?
no subject
Okay. So. Remember how I said about how human reproduction works by one of the genetic predecessors hosting said egg? More specifically how it works is that biologically female humans will regularly produce viable eggs that the body will then dispose of later if they aren't fertilized within a certain period. Meanwhile, biologically male humans produce reproductive material that can be use to fertilize those eggs.
This is done in the most traditional form of human sex, in which a biologically male human inserts their penis into the biologically female human's vagina and moves within it until orgasm, at which point the biologically male human's genetic material is then spilled deep within the biologically female's anatomy and travels to where her eggs are hosted during their time of potential fertility. If those eggs are able to be fertilized and the genetic material is still good, this can result in the fertilized egg growing into an infant human.
A condom is a kind of prophylactic: a thin latex sheath worn over the biologically male human's penis and used to make sure that the human reproductive material doesn't make its way to the biologically female human's egg, so it won't be fertilized if the humans in question don't wish to reproduce. Since human genetic material isn't produced in such vast quantities as troll genetic material seems to be, it's very possible to do so.
(I'm talking about biological sex rather than gender, given that there are human males with biologically female anatomies as well as the reverse, of course.)
Condoms can also be worn to avoid the spread of sexually transmitted infections during penetrative sex--or at least they were back home. I'm not entirely sure how many STIs actually exist in this world. If you have a regular partner and you have both been thoroughly tested--and you don't plan on doing any sex with them which would result in reproduction--then they can be done without. But if you're not planning to have a regular partner, then I suggest you and irregular partners wear them.
1/2
He's pretty sure he didn't ask for a biology lesson here, yet here we are. He has come to the realization that humans are pretty damn gross, and he now knows more about them than he ever wanted to know. Thoroughly regretting his current form.
Anyways, give him a moment as he tries to begin to sort out what to even say to all of this. He isn't one to be taken off guard, normally. But he also doesn't normally get detailed descriptions on alien breeding.]
2/2
What sort of nightmare species did I get turned into? Holy fuck.
You do knoW you could haVe just said the bit about What the condom is and What for, Without the nauseating descriptions of your internal breeding mechanics, right?
Re: 2/2
(Besides, if you were a real human, you'd have had to learn about this age age thirteen--six sweeps, I think?--in a classroom with two dozen other children your age. And there would have been illustrations. And then they would have separated you by biological sex to talk about menstruation and nocturnal emissions respectively.)
no subject
It Would be really strange if your species didn't educate your young on hoW to reproduce, and I really don't care hoW they chose to teach you.
I'm not asking for the human experience here, I don't actually care about it either.
Don't get me Wrong, I appreciate the other stuff that's applicable to What matters to me, but I could do Without the rest.
no subject
Anyway, condom digression is over now. We need never speak of safe sex again.
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AnyWay, onto more important matters: yes I like recreational substances. You got the hook up?
Once this week of useless training is oVer, you can bet your bulge I'll be hitting the city.
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Also, talk to Hythlodaeus at [insert pokegear number here] if you want hallucinogens. Just so you know, he's currently just selling for personal use, not resale.
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Don't Worry, I'm not interested in selling this stuff, but I'll hit him up and see hoW good his shit is for myself.
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Is he part of Team Rocket too?
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AnyWay, thanks for the help, glad We Worked out our little misunderstanding.
I'm sure it'll make my acclimation here a touch easier.
Not that I'Ve eVer been one to struggle With adapting.
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But yes, I'm glad we worked out that misunderstanding too. Good luck, Lanque. Have fun with your new life here.