And this is where I confess that I don't have 100% of what I did to you anymore.
Which is not an excuse. But it's something that has to be taken into account, because I hadn't realized...
I mean. I knew after the weekend was over that your dream had gotten very much out of hand and that I'd seen a lot of utterly terrifying shit that I hadn't put there that I could only guess were from your memories. And it made me very glad I didn't have any of the memories that informed what I could remember of what I'd seen. Which is why I *did* apologize when I was high to you. And was in the process of psyching myself up to do it again soberly before, well, the whole rotom menace. Because I *did* feel legitimately shitty I'd given you such an excruciating nightmare. I'd wanted to scare you, sure, but *not that much*.
But if what you were dreaming were legitimate straight-up memories that I'd messed with. Well.
I *get* now why you thought it was such a terrible attack against you. Jesus *Christ*.
You may not remember it, but what you bore witness to was the end of my people and the world as I had once knew it. You had used Hythlodaeus' deceased form to attempt to hurt me—but I have relived that memory thousands of times, I know it backwards and forwards. I know the placement of every corpse, each terminus beast that would appear and slaughter my people, the scent of burnt flesh, of spilled blood, every scream and dying gasp...
I know Hythlodaeus had not died then, and thus I knew there was an interloper.
There is one thing I wish to know: was it worth it to break our unspoken ceasefire? I had left you and yours well enough alone, I had respected your wishes. You do realize that when something of this nature is broken, you are ensuring that trust cannot be reforged, yes?
If not for this act of kindness on your end towards Hythlodaeus, I would have believed you naught more than a rabid dog, one that I would have to keep in check ere he snaps his foaming jaws at me should I be folly enough to lower my guard again.
Although from my perspective, it hadn't seemed like you'd left me and mine alone. Tyler had another run-in with you which had left him very much upset (which I'd *assumed* at the time you'd provoked) and then later you were offering our services to Estinien as if they were *yours* to offer. I guess to you it seemed like an unspoken ceasefire. Me, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
But no. It wasn't worth it. I regret what I did to you that weekend.
[He doesn't regret throwing him down the stairs, but. They can just... not discuss that part of this.]
If we're going to have another ceasefire it should probably be not only spoken, but written, signed and witnessed. So we both know it's a thing and if we break it, we'll be justified in any consequences that ensue.
(Estinien would probably be willing to be that witness.)
By the time of your assault, Tyler and I had become civil. The run in you speak of only happened because of what you had done to me. Tyler had seen the state I was in, and approached me. Unfortunately, the conversation did not go well, but such is the way of things. Also, may I be so bold to say that I find it rather condescending and likewise dismissive of Tyler's own agency when both you and Lydia act in his stead? He is a man grown and capable, he can fight his own battles. You nor Lydia are more capable than he.
As for the suggestion of you or Tyler to assist Estinien, I felt little harm in alerting him of those whom might be of aid to him. But I can see why it landed poorly. Regardless, neither merited such an egregious response. That you would feel regret, however, speaks volumes from what I have grown to expect from you.
That is a compliment.
But very well. Should Estinien agree, then I see no reason not to make this a truly formal truce. I suppose I am a man who cannot turn down aught so bureaucratic. However, know this: should you betray this in any measure, I will show you no quarter. Even agreeing to this at all is rather generous of me.
Yes. I know. And if you break the truce, I will do much the same. But I think I have to trust that both of us respect the concept of a written truce too much to break it.
(If you want proof that I do, I was working on a draft of formal treaty request for you when you messaged me. What happened with Tyler and Hythlo freaked me out that damn much.)
[And here he'll attach a photo of a notepad that show said draft, which is much crossed out in places and in other places annotated.]
I am learning more about you in this singular conversation than I have the entirety I have known you, I hope you do realize this. Had you been this agreeable at the first, we might have avoided a lot of strife.
Alas.
But yes, I am a man of my word, particularly of written persuasion. As such, we can settle upon a date for this meeting, and review the final draft. If aught must needs be changed, we can do so there under the impartial scrutiny of our mutual dragoon acquaintance. This is a far better prospect than aught we attempted before.
I'm afraid I don't feel very agreeable at all when I'm not being acknowledged as a person.
Unfortunately.
Would a week from now be adequate time for you? That should give me time to finish a draft for the treaty as well as take Osomatsu on the caper I promised him. And I can contact Tyler and Lydia too to see if they would be willing to be part of the ceasefire. Lydia, I suspect, will want to keep her independence (as would my Jack), but depending how angry Tyler still is at me, he might be willing to be party to our ceasefire as well.
After all, our people are great advocates of formal pledges--though this won't have any magic behind it unless we wait to do it over the next weird weekend and I would rather not.
[He hesitates a few moments before typing,]
There's actually a common pledge already in existence that covers what our treaty would: the Good Neighbor's Pact. But since it's sworn on one's True Name, either Obscured or Unsullied, I suspect you wouldn't want to make it.
Whether you agree to it or no, personhood is relative. Somehow I doubt all this time you have viewed me as aught more than a fiend, like as not you were none too concerned with considering me a person as well.
If they wish to take part in this, so be it. A week from now should serve our purpose well enough. I shall be certain to keep my schedule clear.
A ground of commonality, then. Amaurotines are ever ones for structure, order, and paperwork. We are people proud of our bureaucratic practices and earnest natures. Little did we must needs rely on magic to bind us to said contracts. Such tricks merely confirm that the party you are binding yourself to is untrustworthy.
You are correct, I will not take any pledge that uses my true name. It is terrible enough as is that such intimate information has been shared with you, and potentially others. For your sake, my name better have ended its transference with you.
[This may be honesty hour, but if Steven knows what's good for him, a white lie may be what he needs to make this truce happen.]
[Oh you motherfucker. That's not the same goddamn thing! But then again, why should he expect otherwise from someone who brags about 'subjugating primitive people.']
You were right before. We'll never get along.
But all right then. In a week. I'll contact Tyler on Friday, once he's had 48hrs to calm down.
[Yep, just as he suspected, he did not like that. Oh well, at least he's still on board for the truce regardless. It's better that Steven have realistic expectations, either way.]
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fingersandteeth) wrote2022-02-21 05:11 pm
no subject
And this is where I confess that I don't have 100% of what I did to you anymore.
Which is not an excuse. But it's something that has to be taken into account, because I hadn't realized...
I mean. I knew after the weekend was over that your dream had gotten very much out of hand and that I'd seen a lot of utterly terrifying shit that I hadn't put there that I could only guess were from your memories. And it made me very glad I didn't have any of the memories that informed what I could remember of what I'd seen. Which is why I *did* apologize when I was high to you. And was in the process of psyching myself up to do it again soberly before, well, the whole rotom menace. Because I *did* feel legitimately shitty I'd given you such an excruciating nightmare. I'd wanted to scare you, sure, but *not that much*.
But if what you were dreaming were legitimate straight-up memories that I'd messed with. Well.
I *get* now why you thought it was such a terrible attack against you. Jesus *Christ*.
no subject
I know Hythlodaeus had not died then, and thus I knew there was an interloper.
There is one thing I wish to know: was it worth it to break our unspoken ceasefire? I had left you and yours well enough alone, I had respected your wishes. You do realize that when something of this nature is broken, you are ensuring that trust cannot be reforged, yes?
If not for this act of kindness on your end towards Hythlodaeus, I would have believed you naught more than a rabid dog, one that I would have to keep in check ere he snaps his foaming jaws at me should I be folly enough to lower my guard again.
no subject
Although from my perspective, it hadn't seemed like you'd left me and mine alone. Tyler had another run-in with you which had left him very much upset (which I'd *assumed* at the time you'd provoked) and then later you were offering our services to Estinien as if they were *yours* to offer. I guess to you it seemed like an unspoken ceasefire. Me, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
But no. It wasn't worth it. I regret what I did to you that weekend.
[He doesn't regret throwing him down the stairs, but. They can just... not discuss that part of this.]
If we're going to have another ceasefire it should probably be not only spoken, but written, signed and witnessed. So we both know it's a thing and if we break it, we'll be justified in any consequences that ensue.
(Estinien would probably be willing to be that witness.)
no subject
As for the suggestion of you or Tyler to assist Estinien, I felt little harm in alerting him of those whom might be of aid to him. But I can see why it landed poorly. Regardless, neither merited such an egregious response. That you would feel regret, however, speaks volumes from what I have grown to expect from you.
That is a compliment.
But very well. Should Estinien agree, then I see no reason not to make this a truly formal truce. I suppose I am a man who cannot turn down aught so bureaucratic. However, know this: should you betray this in any measure, I will show you no quarter. Even agreeing to this at all is rather generous of me.
no subject
(If you want proof that I do, I was working on a draft of formal treaty request for you when you messaged me. What happened with Tyler and Hythlo freaked me out that damn much.)
[And here he'll attach a photo of a notepad that show said draft, which is much crossed out in places and in other places annotated.]
no subject
Alas.
But yes, I am a man of my word, particularly of written persuasion. As such, we can settle upon a date for this meeting, and review the final draft. If aught must needs be changed, we can do so there under the impartial scrutiny of our mutual dragoon acquaintance. This is a far better prospect than aught we attempted before.
I daresay, I am impressed.
no subject
Unfortunately.
Would a week from now be adequate time for you? That should give me time to finish a draft for the treaty as well as take Osomatsu on the caper I promised him. And I can contact Tyler and Lydia too to see if they would be willing to be part of the ceasefire. Lydia, I suspect, will want to keep her independence (as would my Jack), but depending how angry Tyler still is at me, he might be willing to be party to our ceasefire as well.
After all, our people are great advocates of formal pledges--though this won't have any magic behind it unless we wait to do it over the next weird weekend and I would rather not.
[He hesitates a few moments before typing,]
There's actually a common pledge already in existence that covers what our treaty would: the Good Neighbor's Pact. But since it's sworn on one's True Name, either Obscured or Unsullied, I suspect you wouldn't want to make it.
no subject
If they wish to take part in this, so be it. A week from now should serve our purpose well enough. I shall be certain to keep my schedule clear.
A ground of commonality, then. Amaurotines are ever ones for structure, order, and paperwork. We are people proud of our bureaucratic practices and earnest natures. Little did we must needs rely on magic to bind us to said contracts. Such tricks merely confirm that the party you are binding yourself to is untrustworthy.
You are correct, I will not take any pledge that uses my true name. It is terrible enough as is that such intimate information has been shared with you, and potentially others. For your sake, my name better have ended its transference with you.
[This may be honesty hour, but if Steven knows what's good for him, a white lie may be what he needs to make this truce happen.]
that should be good neighbors with no apostrophe
You were right before. We'll never get along.
But all right then. In a week. I'll contact Tyler on Friday, once he's had 48hrs to calm down.
Goodbye, Emet-Selch.
no subject
Very well! Do take care of yourself, Steven.
Till next time.