Steven 'Sharpteeth' Durante (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fingersandteeth) wrote2022-02-21 05:11 pm
fingersandteeth) wrote2022-02-21 05:11 pm
G o d, I guess???
But seriously, Steven, maybe taking some steps to keep yourself from doing stupid shit when you know you're going to get fucked up and you know you're going to run your mouth would be a good damn idea.
[Like keep her name out of your mouth while you're drunk/high as fuck.]
But seriously, Steven, maybe taking some steps to keep yourself from doing stupid shit when you know you're going to get fucked up and you know you're going to run your mouth would be a good damn idea.
[Like keep her name out of your mouth while you're drunk/high as fuck.]
[Hey, where he is from, all cigarettes are handrolled!]
What makes you say that?
[And after hesitating for a moment.]
She didn't sound disappointed in you.
What makes you say that?
[And after hesitating for a moment.]
She didn't sound disappointed in you.
Yeah okay fair.
I mean I have put my gear elsewhere before I was just a moron and didn't this time.
I mean I have put my gear elsewhere before I was just a moron and didn't this time.
You said it, not me.
Did you still want me to come over? I have the time, at the very least.
Did you still want me to come over? I have the time, at the very least.
Yeah the more people around the more people to stop me from doing something really stupid while intoxicated.
Also you should meet Melissa anyway she works with us it's always good to know who your coworkers are.
Also you should meet Melissa anyway she works with us it's always good to know who your coworkers are.
Ehhh, is she actually interesting or what?
Because, honestly, the last few batches have been utter shit, Steven.
Because, honestly, the last few batches have been utter shit, Steven.
I mean, fuck. She probably wouldn't be, because she's a goddamn saint and so forgiving, but fuck, Armin. She should be! I shoved Solus down the stairs and I'm not even sorry!
[He gets suddenly very still.]
Fuck, [he repeats.] I. Fuck. I really did just tell you that. Didn't I. Fuck. I shouldn't be talking to you unless I'm sober. You'll just be disappointed too.
[He gets suddenly very still.]
Fuck, [he repeats.] I. Fuck. I really did just tell you that. Didn't I. Fuck. I shouldn't be talking to you unless I'm sober. You'll just be disappointed too.
Edited 2020-07-03 16:13 (UTC)
I mean she's a far cry better than Solus and she's certainly smarter than London and I don't think you'd mind Garak if you actually met him at least you'd have being non-human in common but whatever this is why I'm the self-appointed newbie wrangler and you are not.
I've gone out drinking with her before she's fun.
I've gone out drinking with her before she's fun.
[He pushed Solus. Down the stairs.
Honestly, Armin has only met Solus a few times, and the man can get a bit... much. But he hadn't done anything that, in Armin's eyes, warranted a shift shove down a steep staircase. But just because Armin didn't know, doesn't mean such a reason couldn't exist. And even if no justifiable reason exists, it is still important to hear out what Steven has to say on it.]
I can't promise I won't ever be disappointed in you. [That is not the sort of promise Armin believes in making!] But I can promise you that I will always try and listen to you first.
But maybe you are right. Maybe this is a talk we should have when you are sober.
Honestly, Armin has only met Solus a few times, and the man can get a bit... much. But he hadn't done anything that, in Armin's eyes, warranted a shift shove down a steep staircase. But just because Armin didn't know, doesn't mean such a reason couldn't exist. And even if no justifiable reason exists, it is still important to hear out what Steven has to say on it.]
I can't promise I won't ever be disappointed in you. [That is not the sort of promise Armin believes in making!] But I can promise you that I will always try and listen to you first.
But maybe you are right. Maybe this is a talk we should have when you are sober.
[Steven nods grimly.]
I told you, [he says.] All the way back at prom. I'm not-- I'm not a good man, Armin. I mean, neither is he, he was going around fucking with me and Tyler for shits and giggles but--
[He pulls off his glasses. Rubs his face. Replaces them.]
I'm not a good man, [he repeats.] I don't even know how much I can keep trying to be one. Charley, she'd keep trying. But I'm not her.
It should have been me. God, she was the same age as Tio Carlos. That must have fucked up Mom and Dad so much. At least if it had been me... they always expected me to die young. They never said it out loud but. Jesus.
I told you, [he says.] All the way back at prom. I'm not-- I'm not a good man, Armin. I mean, neither is he, he was going around fucking with me and Tyler for shits and giggles but--
[He pulls off his glasses. Rubs his face. Replaces them.]
I'm not a good man, [he repeats.] I don't even know how much I can keep trying to be one. Charley, she'd keep trying. But I'm not her.
It should have been me. God, she was the same age as Tio Carlos. That must have fucked up Mom and Dad so much. At least if it had been me... they always expected me to die young. They never said it out loud but. Jesus.
[Mental note: definitely ask how Solus was fucking with Steven and Tyler. Probably later. When Steven is sober.
Also possibly ask about Tio Carlos. And Steven's parents. And why they expected him to die young. Armin'd ask now, but Steven is high enough that he feels that is best saved for a later conversation. Instead, he focuses on just one thing.]
Good and bad...are very black and white concepts for what is a very complicated subject. I don't like them very much. I mean, what's good for one person, or one group of people doesn't need to be good for other people. Someone can be a hero in the eyes of some and a villain in the eyes of others, but they are still the exact same person.
Also possibly ask about Tio Carlos. And Steven's parents. And why they expected him to die young. Armin'd ask now, but Steven is high enough that he feels that is best saved for a later conversation. Instead, he focuses on just one thing.]
Good and bad...are very black and white concepts for what is a very complicated subject. I don't like them very much. I mean, what's good for one person, or one group of people doesn't need to be good for other people. Someone can be a hero in the eyes of some and a villain in the eyes of others, but they are still the exact same person.
I know that, Armin, [Steven says, tiredly.] I'm sleeping with the prime example of that.
I mean. Good. Great. I'm glad you get shades of grey. I do. Because honestly, that's the best you'll get from me, Armin. [His eyes, as he leans forward, are utterly serious.] Not just dingy off-white. Grey
I mean. Good. Great. I'm glad you get shades of grey. I do. Because honestly, that's the best you'll get from me, Armin. [His eyes, as he leans forward, are utterly serious.] Not just dingy off-white. Grey
Steven. [Armin's voice is soft and gentle, but also the sort that brooks no argument.] I'm friends with Krieg and miss Maya. I'm not looking for faultlessness in my friends.
Besides, I... I don't think I could. Not without being a hypocrite. I already know that if I ever go back to the world I come from, I will end up killing at least two people. So I am probably not a very good person either.
Besides, I... I don't think I could. Not without being a hypocrite. I already know that if I ever go back to the world I come from, I will end up killing at least two people. So I am probably not a very good person either.
I will too, [Steven says, quietly.] I know that much about my future self. What he'll do for the Court.
[He takes a deep, shuddering breath. Lets it out.]
She wasn't-- she wasn't that different than how I remembered her. Charley. I thought she'd be more different. She'd been a wraith for years, she said. But maybe... maybe the dead don't change as much and as quickly as we do. Not when they're ghosts.
But me. I'm different. I'm closer to the Steven she remembers, closer than my future self. But I'm not him. And I won't ever be him again. I don't-- I don't want to be him.
Wouldn't that disappoint her?
[He takes a deep, shuddering breath. Lets it out.]
She wasn't-- she wasn't that different than how I remembered her. Charley. I thought she'd be more different. She'd been a wraith for years, she said. But maybe... maybe the dead don't change as much and as quickly as we do. Not when they're ghosts.
But me. I'm different. I'm closer to the Steven she remembers, closer than my future self. But I'm not him. And I won't ever be him again. I don't-- I don't want to be him.
Wouldn't that disappoint her?
She's your sister. I think what she really wants you to be is happy. Even if that means changing.
I only talked to her once, so I can't pretend to know her very well, but let me say, she definitely did not sound disappointed in you.
I only talked to her once, so I can't pretend to know her very well, but let me say, she definitely did not sound disappointed in you.
[Steven looks... confused at this. Like he wants to believe Armin, but he's not entirely sure he should.]
You promise?
You promise?
I promise. Feel free to ask me again when you are sober if you think you'll believe it better then.
[Armin doesn't lie. Or at least. He doesn't lie convincingly.]
[Armin doesn't lie. Or at least. He doesn't lie convincingly.]
Okay.
[He bites his lip.]
Melissa's going to be coming soon. And, uh, Tyler and Lydia. With alcohol. And Jack will probably be with us too? Because if I'm going to do this I shouldn't be alone.
Can I call you back to talk more... not tomorrow, because tomorrow is for hangovers and that giant hugging asshole at lunch, but. But in a couple days?
[He bites his lip.]
Melissa's going to be coming soon. And, uh, Tyler and Lydia. With alcohol. And Jack will probably be with us too? Because if I'm going to do this I shouldn't be alone.
Can I call you back to talk more... not tomorrow, because tomorrow is for hangovers and that giant hugging asshole at lunch, but. But in a couple days?
Giant hugging asshole...?
[That sounds like a story. Quite the story. But oh, Steven just said he didn't have time, and Armin sure doesn't want to be chatting to him still once Jack comes around, so he just shakes his head.]
No. Nevermind. You can tell me about that when you call me in a few days.
[That sounds like a story. Quite the story. But oh, Steven just said he didn't have time, and Armin sure doesn't want to be chatting to him still once Jack comes around, so he just shakes his head.]
No. Nevermind. You can tell me about that when you call me in a few days.
I will. Promise.
And-- thank you, Armin.
[He'll cut the camera from his end.]
And-- thank you, Armin.
[He'll cut the camera from his end.]
It's not hard to be better than either one of those and I have no opinions on whoever Garak is right now. Soon enough, I'm sure.
I guess I'll believe you for now. But if you're wrong, you'll never hear the end of it~
I guess I'll believe you for now. But if you're wrong, you'll never hear the end of it~
When did you make friends with Hythlo-whatever-the-fuck?
Oh. Uh. That.
I don't know if we're friends so much as business associates who find each other to be not terrible company? He paid me money for drugs, as well as to teach him how to cook his own drugs. I might be an advisor on further drug projects. He's, uh, trying to isolate the part of persim fruit that makes you high from the part of it that makes you want to throw up.
Why? Did he apologize to you? I told him that he should, because he'd been an asshole.
I don't know if we're friends so much as business associates who find each other to be not terrible company? He paid me money for drugs, as well as to teach him how to cook his own drugs. I might be an advisor on further drug projects. He's, uh, trying to isolate the part of persim fruit that makes you high from the part of it that makes you want to throw up.
Why? Did he apologize to you? I told him that he should, because he'd been an asshole.
He literally called you a friend.
Surprisingly he is, yeah???? I can handle two conversations at once, apparently.
Surprisingly he is, yeah???? I can handle two conversations at once, apparently.
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